Jeannie Roshar

"Sharing is Caring." "No Tattling." "Keep Your Hands to Yourself." All vital lessons emphasized at the Diego Segui Pre-School. Unfortunately, the staff has to spend all their time teaching them to the parents instead of the kids.

Emile Brockton enjoys TV, chicken pot pies, and...well, not much else. His life has become a meaningless procession of banal activities that prompt him to spice things up the only way he can devise: by killing himself. However, the road to suicide is filled with many distractions, and these create the ultimate conundrum for Emile.

A pair of friends from Boston kick off their New Year by making a pact to murder the people who have mistreated them in this darkly comic thriller. When the slaughter starts, their ex-boyfriends will wish they'd been faithful.