The Marble Heart
George, a somewhat "unathletic" young man, falls for Clarice, a healthy, athletically inclined young woman. Unfortunately for George, however, a strapping, musclebound stud is also after Clarice, and she seems to prefer him to George. After reading an article by a female writer saying that women prefer the "caveman" type of man, George decides that if that what it takes to get Clarice, then that is what he will be.
Ned Elliott, a young clerk, is engaged to be married. His salary is not large enough to support a wife and he asks his employer for a "raise," which is refused. The same thing occurs several times, and with each refusal Ned postpones his marriage. In despair he concocts a scheme to make his employer give him the coveted "raise." He takes a bright young maid who works at his boarding house into his confidence. Knowing that Mr. Hadley, his employer, is a flirt, and that Mrs. Hadley is extremely jealous, Ned plans to have Mary, the maid, come to Hadley's office and declare herself his (Hadley's) wife. Ned arranges it so that Mrs. Hadley arrives on the scene at the same time. A series of most laughable incidents follow Mary's entrance in Hadley's office, ending with Ned getting his "raise." But the raise is such that, well, it would spoil the splendid finish of the story to tell it.