Sink or Swim

First Pa said Theodore was a lizzy-nizzy. He let that go, but when Pa said he was too sporty because he spent a nickel for a ticket for a voting contest for the fairest girl in town, Pa's daughter, of course, then Theodore decided to settle Pa. He played at being a lady. Then Pa said he might not be as young as he used to be, but Ma came along. So Pa said all on the sly, "Go to it, Theodore."

Figures Don't Lie is a showcase for the physical charms of lovely Esther Ralston, who in one scene proves the accuracy of the title by donning a fetching one-piece bathing suit. The main story concerns wise-guy insurance salesman Richard Arlen, who through a combination of hard work and sheer gall lands a job as sales manager. But he can't land heroine Ralston, who has remained cool to his charms ever since he tried to make a play for her on the street. A lost film.

William Lowry rescues Claudia Royce from a burning building, and upon hearing that her parents are trying to force her to accept millionaire Leland, whom she does not love, he proposes a marriage of convenience to himself. She accepts, and Bill arranges a fake ceremony; but when she falls in love with Davidge, Bill refuses her a "divorce." Later, Bill gets rich in the manufacture of a patented fireman's pole, and when he buys a house for Claudia she realizes her love for him and they are legally married.

When Harlan Carr inherited his Uncle Ebenezer's "Jack-O Lantern" house and too his bride there to live, he found himself the unwilling host of a score of hungry relatives within a week. Soon, strange things began to happen. A black cat made the house his headquarters, unexplained sounds could be heard and a shadowy figure floated through the halls at night.

Mary Sundale is a young woman who spurns her childhood sweetheart to attach herself to a large group of riotous, semi-artistic young people and becomes infatuated with a superficial poet and critic. One night this poet becomes too bold in his advances and is thrashed by the man who has been rejected. On a later night, the group holds a party in a dirigible. The ship crashes and fear grips the revelers. Mary, now disgusted with the group and all it represents, mends her manner of living and plans a future with the man who has always sincerely loved her. A lost film.

Drama in the Futurists' Cabaret No. 13

Ann, a 19-year-old girl who looks much younger, meets a dashing army major on a boat sailing from Liverpool to Bombay, India, and falls in love with him. Her love appears to be unrequited, though, because the major thinks she is far too young--and also, unknown to her, because he had once been in love with her mother. When a fellow passenger on the ship takes advantage of the naive girl the major comes to her rescue, but in the process the girl finds out about the past relationship between he and her mother.

Ann Barton, the daughter of a once-wealthy family, is forced to clerk at the cigar counter of a village hotel, where she meets James McDonald, a breezy, handsome salesman. Ann is adopted by an aristocratic aunt, who disapproves of James's manners and breaks up Ann's relationship with him. Ann soon revenges herself on her aunt by placing both her aunt and herself in compromising positions.

Although the prominent Hollywood family prides itself on its illustrious family tree, young Winifred Hollywood exhibits a fondness for wild adventures that greatly disturbs her parents. When Winifred becomes engaged to bank official Harold Burton, his equally snobbish parents visit the Hollywood home and are shocked by the young woman's spirited outbursts and mischievous tricks, and the engagement is broken after she decides to perform bareback feats with a traveling circus.

Floss Brannon, expelled from college for mischievous conduct, marries Chester Framm, a struggling young student who aspires to be an orator. When Chester's salary as an insurance clerk proves insufficient for the couple's needs, Claire invents a complexion cream called "Angel Bloom." Deciding to combine Chester's oratory prowess with the promotion of Angel Bloom, Floss rents an elephant, coats it with the cream and plans to have Chester pitch the product from the back of the animal.

Four young college students find themselves with no money and a lot of debts. Each has received a peremptory refusal from home to send any more money to them and they are in despair. Suddenly Claude has an idea. They will hire Susan B. Gabonthy to lecture for them, clear about one hundred dollars apiece, and have enough to tide them over into the next term.

A winning lottery ticket and the theft of half of it leads to both joy and a lot of trouble for former coworkers Abe and Kitty as well as Abe’s daughter Minnie and her true love David Moss.

When millionaire John Saunders threatens to disinherit his son Wallace if he marries Queen Tina, a circus rider, Wallace elopes with Tina and becomes a trapeze performer.

When Mrs. Harrison arrives in Harborsport for her vacation, she announces her plan to marry Gladsome, her daughter, to Vincent Bradshaw, the son of her financial advisor James Bradshaw. To keep Gladsome from socializing with the local fishermen, James drives them from his property, but they organize under her and force their way back. Arrested for rabble-rousing, Gladsome is bailed out of jail by James and later meets "Alphabet" Carter, a vacationing financial wizard, for whom she has an immediate attraction.

When an aviator dies performing in a traveling circus, the circus closes and sideshow con men "Sky-High" Billy Wardell and "Domino" Dominick are arrested for giving out fake watches to wheel of fortune winners. After Domino springs the jail's lock, they jump a freight train and arrive in the next town, where Billy falls in love when Jane Higgenbotham allows them to breakfast on her freshly baked pies.

Robert "Bob" Wesley horrifies his father, Admiral John Wesley of the Naval Advisory Board, by failing his examination at the Annapolis naval academy. Bob seizes the chance to redeem himself, however, when he overhears Hanson, the butler, plotting with German agent Count Von Ornstorff to deliver his father's plans for the Atlantic coastal defenses to German Baroness Von Hulda. In Baltimore, Bob meets the baroness' ship and, with the aid of an old college professor, makes her his prisoner. Having impersonated a woman in the college play, Bob disguises himself as the baroness, rendezvous with the spies, and obtains the plans.

Tommy Buckman, the ne'er-do-well son of dime store magnate John Buckman, is given one last chance to succeed by surveying a possible location in New England for the opening of another store in his father's chain. Arriving in the town of Winton, Tommy lands in jail and, disowned by his father, is bailed out by Nina Potter, whose father owns the only dime store in town.

Richard Bolton, a timid bookworm, is too shy to declare his love for the beautiful Helen. While she remains unimpressed, however, the Countess Wintershin pursues him relentlessly, to Richard's embarrassment and her jealous husband's dismay.

Babs Weston agrees to marry adventurer Richard Forestall before his hasty departure, accepting his ring and promising to be faithful. Richard returns to find that his fiancée has become a "victim of jazz" and is engaged to two other men, one of whom is not yet divorced. He leaves Babs and visits his parents on their island in the Caribbean Sea, where, by coincidence, Babs and some of her thrill-seeking friends become stranded. Richard proceeds to reform the young wastrels by giving them useful occupations, and wins Babs over to a more healthful life.

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