The Private Eyes

A funny thing happened to Lurkalot, serf to Sir Coward de Custard, on the way to Custard Castle. Lurkalot sells lusty love potions and rusty chastity belts in the market place, but on this day Sir Graggart de Bombast arrives to sack the castle, and to get the lovely Lobelia Custard in the sack! Lurkalot must help Custard cream the knight in pining armour...

A one-time (and now one-handed) master film editor toiling in the cinematic sweatshops of 1970s Italy becomes the prime suspect in a series of brutal murders.

This is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.

Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation, so he joins the Foreign Legion—with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there's trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.

An heiress (Piccolo) fakes her own kidnapping in order to get money from her parents and hides in the river Po's delta among eel fisherman and is helped by a small time smuggler (Toffolo).

Heiress Joanna Stayton hires carpenter Dean Proffitt to build a closet on her yacht—and refuses to pay him for the project when it's done. But after Joanna accidentally falls overboard and loses her memory, Dean sees an opportunity to get even.

When heiress Jean Courtland attempts suicide, her fiancée Elliott Carson probes her relationship with John Triton. In flashback, we see how stage mentalist Triton starts having terrifying flashes of true precognition. Now years later, he desperately tries to prevent tragedies in the Courtland family.

Cowabunga! The surfing '60s ride into the new wave as Frankie and Annette star in this hip update of their old-time, good-time beach movies. With special appearances by Bob Denver, Tony Dow, Pee-Wee Herman, Jerry Mathers and other familiar faces. Frankie and Annette grow up and have kids in the midwest. They return to LA to visit their daughter who is shacked up with her boyfriend and tries to hide the fact. They begin to have marriage problems when Frankie runs into Connie, who has erected a shrine to him in her night club. Their punk son has joined up with the local surf toughs, and things all come to a head when the toughs challenge the good guys to a surfing duel

A typical weekend down the shore takes a bizarre turn as six girls and five obnoxious fist-pumpers become the unsuspecting targets of a deranged killer.

It showcases the different activities of students — the mess they get into and the troubles they encounter until the duo of Michael and Madonna discover that their professor is a drug pusher.

When the nefarious Dark Helmet hatches a plan to snatch Princess Vespa and steal her planet's air, space-bum-for-hire Lone Starr and his clueless sidekick fly to the rescue. Along the way, they meet Yogurt, who puts Lone Starr wise to the power of "The Schwartz." Can he master it in time to save the day?

An ex-fighter pilot forced to take over the controls of an airliner when the flight crew succumbs to food poisoning.

For four years, the courageous crew of the NSEA Protector — Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, Lieutenant Tawny Madison, and Doctor Lazarus — set off on a thrilling and often dangerous mission in space... until their series was cancelled! Now, twenty years later, aliens under attack have mistaken the Galaxy Quest television transmissions for "historical documents" and beam up the crew of has-been actors to save the universe. With no script, no director, and no clue, the actors must turn in the performances of their lives.

On a historical grave site, a teenage girl with low self-esteem, a white rapper, and the ghost of a confederate soldier become entangled in a love triangle.

Star Wars Goretech is the magnanimous project of businessman Max Higgins, who managed to carry out the filming of that script, with all the sex, violence, apologies for drugs and prostitution that George Lucas always wanted to film but never got around to.

The heroic Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag group of thirteen Spartans to defend their homeland against the invading Persians (whose ranks include Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Transformers, and a hunchbacked Paris Hilton). No one is safe when the Spartans take on the biggest icons in pop culture!

When odd reports are received through official channels stating that the President of the United States is being held captive on a secret international moon base called Vegan and that he has been replaced on Earth by a clone, the US Marshall Service immediately sends their 'best' man, Dix, on the mission.

Robin Hood comes home after fighting in the Crusades to learn that the noble King Richard is in exile and that the despotic King John now rules England, with the help of the Sheriff of Rottingham. Robin Hood assembles a band of fellow patriots to do battle with King John and the Sheriff.

A trio of unemployed silent film actors are mistaken for real heroes by a small Mexican village in search of someone to stop a malevolent bandit.

Two stoners wake up after a night of partying and cannot remember where they parked their car.