Jesus Loves Me

An inquisitor tries to stop his superiors from burning innocent people at the stake but is burned for his "treason". He curses god and makes a pact with the devil. Now in modern times he must kill to fulfill his pact. Can a group of goths survive?

Ex-soldier Frank Brayker is the guardian of an ancient key that can unlock tremendous evil; the sinister Collector is a demon who wants the key so he can initiate the apocalypse. On the run from wicked mercenaries for almost 90 years, Brayker finally stops in at a boarding house in New Mexico where — with the help of its residents — he plans to face off against the Collector and his band of ghouls, preventing them from ever seizing the key.

A Coca-Cola bottle dropped from an airplane raises havoc among a normally peaceful tribe of African bushmen who believe it to be a utensil of the gods.

As she reaches her mid-thirties and quits her lucrative job, singleton Olivia finds herself unsure about her future and her relationships with her successful and wealthy friends. She begins to envy the security of her richer friends and, although their lives may seem easier, Olivia's friends have their problems too: screenwriters Christine and Patrick are unable to collaborate on their latest project, Jane and Aaron have lost the romance in their relationship, and Franny and Matt have difficulties handling the demands of parenthood.

In this feature film based on the hit animated series, the third graders of South Park sneak into an R-rated film by ultra-vulgar Canadian television personalities Terrance and Phillip, and emerge with expanded vocabularies that leave their parents and teachers scandalized. When outraged Americans try to censor the film, the controversy spirals into a call to wage war on Canada and Terrance and Phillip end up on death row, with the kids their only hope of rescue.

A lawyer becomes a fisherman from frustration. When his one piece of property, his boat, is struck by lightning and destroyed he is denied insurance money because it was “an act of God”. He re-registers as a lawyer and sues the insurance company and, as God’s representative, The Church.

After the lord of darkness decides he will not cede his throne to any of his three sons, the two most powerful of them escape to Earth to create a kingdom for themselves. This action closes the portal filtering sinful souls to Hell and causes Satan to wither away. He must send his most weak but beloved son, Little Nicky, to Earth to return his brothers to Hell.

San Francisco's premiere wedding planner, Mary Fiore is rescued from an accident by the man of her dreams, pediatrician Steve Edison, only to find he is the fiancé of her latest client. As Mary continues making their wedding arrangements, she and Steve are put into a string of uncomfortable situations that force them to face their mutual attraction.

Steve Brooks, a sexist womanizer, is killed by a group of his angry former lovers. In heaven, he makes a bargain with God for redemption and agrees to return to Earth. Once there, he must have a sincere relationship with a female and make her fall in love with him. If not, Steve's soul will become the property of the devil. But the devil hedges his bet, and Steve is reincarnated as a woman named Amanda Brooks.

The fanatic beliefs of an internet mystic, a cult leader, and a rookie cop gone rogue are tested on the hunt for the "Hidden Man" -- an elusive forest-dwelling cryptid that terrorizes their idyllic suburb.

Have you ever wondered why they said they would call but didn't, or why they don't want to sleep with you anymore, or why your relationship isn't going to the next level? Maybe they're just not that into you. Gigi wants a man who says he'll call her - and actually does - while Alex advises her to stop waiting by the phone. Beth wants a proposal after years of a committed relationship with her boyfriend, Neil, who is just fine with the way things are. Janine's not sure if she can trust her husband, Ben, who can't quite trust himself around Anna. Anna can't decide between the sexy married guy or her straightforward, no-sparks standby, Conor, who can't get over the fact that he can't have her. And Mary, who's found an entire network of loving, supportive men, just needs to find one who's straight.

A sibling visit an abandoned hotel in search of their father's treasure. Initially, the terror is thought to be a hoax by a hotel guard hired to pose as a ghost, but things change when the spirit of a woman murdered in the hotel actually rises and haunts them. Now they must fight to survive this supernatural terror.

In Venice Beach, naive Midwesterner JB bonds with local slacker KG and they form the rock band Tenacious D. Setting out to become the world's greatest band is no easy feat, so they set out to steal what could be the answer to their prayers... a magical guitar pick housed in a rock-and-roll museum some 300 miles away.

Frank is a man who thinks he has lost everything, until his house is destroyed by a tornado. Then when he goes to the insurance company, he’s told they won't pay because the damage falls under the "Act of God" exclusion in his policy. With nothing left, and nothing left to lose, he decides to sue God himself for damages, naming representatives of the world's religions as defendants in the suit. What starts as a ridiculous stunt, becomes a beautiful, funny, soulful odyssey in which he rediscovers that love itself... requires a leap of faith.

God contacts Junior Congressman Evan Baxter and tells him to build an ark in preparation for a great flood.

Carlin returns to the stage in his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO®. His spot-on observations on the deterioration of human behavior include Americans’ obsession with their two favorite addictions - shopping and eating; his creative idea for The All-Suicide Channel, a new reality TV network; and the glorious rebirth of the planet to its original pristine condition - once the fires and floods destroy life as we know it.

En route to the annual G7 summit, the seven leaders of the world’s wealthiest liberal democracies get lost in the woods and face increasing peril while attempting to draft a provisional statement regarding a global crisis.

Matacanes dies and goes to heaven just to discover that it was not as he expected, and everyone there is revolutionized lately. Peter explains that God was concerned about the progress of the world, and decided to send a second son to Earth. However, Jesus hears and does not agree, as they would have to rewrite history.

The animals decide they must send a representative after the three wise men begin following the star of Bethlehem. Uno, the Lion, arrogantly decides he should be the one to go, and that he does not need any help. Feathers, who brought Jesus's birth to the attention of the animals, insists on traveling with him, and soon he is followed by a beaver, a rabbit, and a turtle.

In a pseudo-futuristic 1994, a square couple enter the corrupt world of the music industry, and subsequently a maze of drugs, sex, and temptation.