Jesus Loves Me

A man called “The Devil” makes a living in cock-fights. He falls for a girl who's about to enter the monastery.

A judge gives con-man Tom Turner a choice—a jail sentence, or a year of honest work. But when he gets a job in the U.S. Post Office's dead letter office, he starts a Good Samaritan con by answering letters written to God. His seemingly virtuous work inspires his co-workers to do the same, but their good deeds are frowned upon by the postmaster general—and the cops.

A grumpy Welshman reluctantly visits his grandmother, only to discover she has only gone and got herself cursed! So now he needs to bloody save her (and the world) from a demon duck...before midnight.

When implanted in a person's wrist, a TiMER counts down to the day the wearer finds true love. But Oona O'Leary faces the rare dilemma of a blank TiMER. Her soul mate - whoever and wherever he is - has yet to have a TiMER implanted. Staring down the barrel of thirty and tired of waiting for her would-be life partner to get off the dime, Oona breaks her own rules and falls for Mikey, a charming and inappropriately young supermarket clerk with a countdown of four months.

In this feature film based on the hit animated series, the third graders of South Park sneak into an R-rated film by ultra-vulgar Canadian television personalities Terrance and Phillip, and emerge with expanded vocabularies that leave their parents and teachers scandalized. When outraged Americans try to censor the film, the controversy spirals into a call to wage war on Canada and Terrance and Phillip end up on death row, with the kids their only hope of rescue.

As she reaches her mid-thirties and quits her lucrative job, singleton Olivia finds herself unsure about her future and her relationships with her successful and wealthy friends. She begins to envy the security of her richer friends and, although their lives may seem easier, Olivia's friends have their problems too: screenwriters Christine and Patrick are unable to collaborate on their latest project, Jane and Aaron have lost the romance in their relationship, and Franny and Matt have difficulties handling the demands of parenthood.

Steve Brooks, a sexist womanizer, is killed by a group of his angry former lovers. In heaven, he makes a bargain with God for redemption and agrees to return to Earth. Once there, he must have a sincere relationship with a female and make her fall in love with him. If not, Steve's soul will become the property of the devil. But the devil hedges his bet, and Steve is reincarnated as a woman named Amanda Brooks.

Elliot Hopper, a widower with three children, is working on a business deal to get his family out of financial straits when he is suddenly killed in a taxi accident. With the aid of a paranormal researcher, Elliott attempts to complete the deal from the beyond, ensuring his family will be taken care of.

When a rogue priest discovers the exact date the Antichrist will be born, he enlists a Death Metal record store clerk and a cheesy TV psychic for an urban spree of gore, sacrilege and twisted humor to prevent the Apocalypse.

Carlin returns to the stage in his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO®. His spot-on observations on the deterioration of human behavior include Americans’ obsession with their two favorite addictions - shopping and eating; his creative idea for The All-Suicide Channel, a new reality TV network; and the glorious rebirth of the planet to its original pristine condition - once the fires and floods destroy life as we know it.

A Coca-Cola bottle dropped from an airplane raises havoc among a normally peaceful tribe of African bushmen who believe it to be a utensil of the gods.

A lawyer becomes a fisherman from frustration. When his one piece of property, his boat, is struck by lightning and destroyed he is denied insurance money because it was “an act of God”. He re-registers as a lawyer and sues the insurance company and, as God’s representative, The Church.

After the lord of darkness decides he will not cede his throne to any of his three sons, the two most powerful of them escape to Earth to create a kingdom for themselves. This action closes the portal filtering sinful souls to Hell and causes Satan to wither away. He must send his most weak but beloved son, Little Nicky, to Earth to return his brothers to Hell.

Ex-soldier Frank Brayker is the guardian of an ancient key that can unlock tremendous evil; the sinister Collector is a demon who wants the key so he can initiate the apocalypse. On the run from wicked mercenaries for almost 90 years, Brayker finally stops in at a boarding house in New Mexico where — with the help of its residents — he plans to face off against the Collector and his band of ghouls, preventing them from ever seizing the key.

Have you ever sat by the phone wondering why he said he would call, but didn't, or you can't figure out why she doesn't want to sleep with you anymore, or why your relationship just isn't going to the next level... they're just not that into you. Gigi just wants a man who says he'll call—and does—while Alex advises her to stop waiting by the phone. Beth wants a proposal after years of a committed relationship with her boyfriend, Neil, who sees nothing wrong with the status quo. Janine's not sure if she can trust her husband, Ben, who can't quite trust himself around Anna. Anna can't decide between the sexy married guy, or her straightforward, no-sparks standby, Conor, who can't get over the fact that he can't have her. And Mary, who's found an entire network of loving, supportive men, just needs to find one who's straight.

Nell, Simon, and their boy Art are ready to welcome friends and family for what promises to be a perfect Christmas gathering. Perfect except for one thing: everyone is going to die.

When God appears to an assistant grocery manager as a good natured old man, the Almighty selects him as his messenger for the modern world.

After one short blind date, Mary Horowitz, a brilliant and eccentric crossword constructor, is convinced that Steve, a CCN cameraman, is her soul mate. Because his job takes him hither and yon, she crisscrosses the country following Steve, with the encouragement of a reporter, turning up at media events he's at to convince him they are perfect for each other. Along the way, she befriends an assortment of misfits who accept her for who she is, leading her to reassess her reasons for this strange journey.

When wannabe-singer Oscar is fired from her band and her boyfriend walks out, she heads to a remote cabin in the woods outside a ghost town called Tarnation to reflect on her life choices. But the woods are home to a demon unicorn, whose satanic master seeks Oscar's blood to complete a ritual that will raise Satan himself from Hell. Oscar must battle with a ungodly force of evil, capable of possessing any soul, to not only save her own life but to stop TARNATION descending upon the world.

Five friends set out for a weekend at a remote cabin in the woods, expecting nothing more than fun and relaxation. As night falls, they discover that something far more unsettling is at work and that nothing about their getaway is what it seems.