Don't Meddle Into Fortune

While a diamond advocate attempts to steal a collection of diamonds, troubles arise when he realises he’s not the only one after the collection.

Childlike Englishman, Mr. Bean, is an incompetent watchman at the Royal National Gallery. After the museum's board of directors' attempt to have him fired is blocked by the chairman, who has taken a liking to Bean, they send him to Los Angeles to act as their ambassador for the unveiling of a historic painting to humiliate him. Fooled, Mr. Bean must now successfully unveil the painting or risk his and a hapless Los Angeles curator's termination.

Honey Skinner is proud of her successful husband. When he tells her he's going to ask for a raise, she knows he'll get it. He asks his boss just as their big client announces he's not renewing his contract. He doesn't get the raise, but he's too embarrassed to tell his wife the truth. She starts making plans to spend that extra $10 a week; the first thing is a new dress suit for him and a new outfit for her so they can fit in at a swanky party. They're the hit of the party, and Honey is embraced by the 'smart set.' Meanwhile, business is bad and Skinner loses his job. The tailor is after him for payment on the suit, and Honey is still spending the salary he doesn't have.

Pressure from his boss and a skin-cream client produces a talking boil on a British adman's neck.

In 1962 New York City, love blossoms between a playboy journalist and a feminist advice author.

Five friends are released from prison and do their best to stay out trouble. While trying to mind their own business (and run their 5-Star Cleaning Service), they are caught up in a war between rival Triad gangs fighting for control of the counterfeit currency market.

Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation, so he joins the Foreign Legion—with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there's trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.

Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...

A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.

A hot-shot lawyer is hired by a Hong Kong chemical plant to dispose of opposition to their polluting ways. But when he falls for a beautiful woman out to stop the plant, he is torn in a conflict of interest and asks his trusty friends Samo and Biao to help out at least until they discover the true purpose of the plant.

A member of the English upper class dies, leaving his estate and his business to an American, whom he thinks is his son who was lost as a baby and then found again. An Englishman who thinks he is an Indian comes to believe that he is actually the heir. He comes to hate the American who is his boss, his friend, and the man who has stolen the woman after whom he lusts.

Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.

Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...

Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.

Brian and Charlie work for a gangster. When the boss learns they want to "leave" he sets them up to be killed, after they help rob the local Triads of their drug dealing profits. Brian and Charlie decides to steal the money for themselves, but when their escape doesn't go to plan, they have to seek refuge in a Nuns' teacher training school.

The members of the Lambda Lambda Lambda fraternity travel to Fort Lauderdale for a fraternity conference. They'll have to beat off the attacks of their rival frat, the Alphas, if they want to maintain their self-respect -- and, of course, if they want to get anywhere with the pretty girls!

With their headmistress under lock and key in her majesty's prison, the St Trinian's girls find themselves under the protection of the army. However, when the sixth form take a fancy to winning a trip to Italy through means fair or foul, the army discover this is one battle they can't win. Let loose in Europe, it is not long before St Trinian's have succeeded in endangering European relations.

During World War II, two French civilians and a downed British Bomber Crew set out from Paris to cross the demarcation line between Nazi-occupied Northern France and the South. From there they will be able to escape to England. First, they must avoid German troops – and the consequences of their own blunders.

A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.

Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the story ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.