Long Live the Seal

With a reputation for seducing members of the opposite sex, regardless of their marital status, a notorious womanizer discovers a beauty who seems impervious to his charms. However, as he continues to pursue the indifferent lady, he finds himself falling in love.

An all-female version of the Van Helsing tale reconfigures the vampire story as an erotic fantasy. The great, great granddaughter of Van Helsing seeks to slay the sexy Countess Dracula. She may have to pretend to be her devoted love slave to get closer to the bloodthirsty demon.

Bad Boy Bubby is just that: a bad boy. So bad, in fact, that his mother has kept him locked in their house for his entire thirty years, convincing him that the air outside is poisonous. After a visit from his estranged father, circumstances force Bubby into the waiting world, a place which is just as unusual to him as he is to the world.

A bizarre accident lands Frank Harris in Cool World, a realm of cartoons. Years later, cartoonist Jack Deebs, who's been drawing Cool World, crosses over as well. He sets his lustful sights on animated femme fatale Holli Would, but she's got plans of her own to become real, and it's up to Frank to stop her.

The Four Musketeers defend the queen and her dressmaker from Cardinal Richelieu and Milady de Winter.

In 1930s Australia, Anglican clergyman Anthony Campion and his prim wife, Estella, are asked to visit noted painter Norman Lindsay, whose planned contribution to an international art exhibit is considered blasphemous. While Campion and Lindsay debate, Estella finds herself drawn to the three beautiful models sitting for the painter's current work, freethinking Sheela, sensual Pru and virginal Giddy.

A small-time con artist and a Hawaiian real estate developer's mischievous, enterprising mistress team up for a potential $200,000 score.

Meet the McTeagues. They've come to stake a claim in their wealthy uncle's will… only he's not dead yet!

Arrogant Don Emilio is a rich man who have maids, a private nurse Nikki, and later a sexy, personal secretary Susie at his disposal. He has two brothers, Dodong and Egay who have sinister thoughts on him, as they want his riches. After some slapstick mishaps and when the Don seemingly went bankrupt, he left his mansion to live with the two but experiences unfair treatment. He ended up living with his stepbrother Edwin in the slum, but his arrogance and his annoying cohorts resulted to differences with Edwin and his girlfriend Girlie. Unbeknown to them, Don Emilio is actually playing a scheme of his own to determine which brother really cares for him the most.

When Gabriel and Emilie meet by chance, he offers her a ride, and they spend the evening talking, laughing and getting along famously. At the end of the night, Emilie declines Gabriel's offer of "a kiss without consequences". Emilie admonishes him that the kiss could have unexpected consequences, and tells him a story, unfolding in flashbacks, about the impossibility of indulging your desires without affecting someone else's life.

Once again tampering with mother nature to disastrous results, Dr. Herbert West continues his research while serving time in a maximum security prison for his previous exploits. West's limited prison-cell experiments are suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a new prison doctor and the brother of the girl who suffered from West's experiments 13 years earlier.

A guy's life is turned around by an email, which includes the names of everyone he's had sex with and ever will have sex with. His situation gets worse when he encounters a femme fatale (Ryder) who targets men guilty of sex crime.

Matthew Hollis is man on holiday in Rio with his best friend. Both men have teenage daughters with them. When Matthew falls for his best friend's amorous daughter named Jennifer, they embark on a secret, if slightly one-sided relationship. Jennifer's father is furious when he finds out about the 'older man' in his daughter's life, and sets out to hunt him down with the aid of Matthew!

While recovering in a hospital, war hero Jefferson Jones grows familiar with the "Diary of a Housewife" column written by Elizabeth Lane. Jeff's nurse arranges with Elizabeth's publisher, Alexander Yardley, for Jeff to spend the holiday at Elizabeth's bucolic Connecticut farm with her husband and child. But the column is a sham, so Elizabeth and her editor, Dudley Beecham, in fear of losing their jobs, hasten to set up the single, childless and entirely nondomestic Elizabeth on a country farm.

Publishing assistant Brett Eisenberg wants to be a big-time editor. However, she lacks self-confidence, a problem that isn't helped by her new, overbearing boss. Brett soon enters into a relationship with Archie, an older man who has plenty of his own issues, including alcoholism, diabetes and a difficult relationship with his daughter. Intent on helping Archie get past his problems, she turns to her dying father for advice.

Humbert Humbert is a middle-aged British novelist who is both appalled by and attracted to the vulgarity of American culture. When he comes to stay at the boarding house run by Charlotte Haze, he soon becomes obsessed with Lolita, the woman's teenaged daughter.

American tourists David and Jack are savaged by an unidentified vicious animal whilst hiking on the Yorkshire Moors. Retiring to the home of a beautiful nurse to recuperate, David soon experiences disturbing changes to his mind and body.

Greg Focker is ready to marry his girlfriend, Pam, but before he pops the question, he must win over her formidable father, humorless former CIA agent Jack Byrnes, at the wedding of Pam's sister. As Greg bends over backward to make a good impression, his visit to the Byrnes home turns into a hilarious series of disasters, and everything that can go wrong does, all under Jack's critical, hawklike gaze.

The true story of Dr. Hunter "Patch" Adams, who in the 1970s found that humor is the best medicine, and was willing to do just anything to make his patients laugh—even if it meant risking his own career.

Die Aufschneider