Patris, listeia, oikogeneia

In a sleepy bedroom community of LA's San Fernando Valley, the murder of a professional athlete by two hit men sets into motion a chain of events that puts the mundane lives of a dozen residents on a collision course. This clever tale tells the story of two hit men, a mistress, a nurse, a vindictive ex-wife, a wealthy art dealer and his lovelorn assistant, a suicidal writer and his dog, and a bitter cop and his partner.

Craig and his cousin Day-Day have finally moved out of their parents' houses and into their own crib, working nights at a local mall as security guards. When their house is robbed on Christmas Eve they set out to track down the culprit.

Charlie's got a 'job' to do. Having just left prison he finds one of his friends has attempted a high-risk job in Torino, Italy, right under the nose of the mafia. Charlie's friend doesn't get very far, so Charlie takes over the 'job'. Using three Mini Coopers, a couple of Jaguars, and a bus, he hopes to bring Torino to a standstill, steal a fortune in gold and escape in the chaos.

In New York City, detective Luigi Mackeroni investigates a string of mysterious penile mutilations at the Hotel Quickie. After Mackeroni attempts to have a tryst with a gigolo he meets in the lobby, a carniverous condom bites off his right testicle and flees, which sets the detective off on a quest to stop the predatory prophylactic once and for all.

A loser of a crook and his wife strike it rich when a botched bank job's cover business becomes a spectacular success.

A Hong Kong detective suffers a fatal accident involving a mysterious medallion and is transformed into an immortal warrior with superhuman powers.

The last wish of the dying "Monk" is for his foster child, Harald, to find his real son, Ludvig. But the latter is currently in a Swedish prison cell...

An enigmatic tale of four people whose lives are intertwined by destiny are subject to the laws of fate. They discover that luck is something they cannot afford to be without as they gamble with the highest stakes possible in a deadly game from which only one of them will emerge intact.

Uptight lawyer Peter Sanderson wants to dive back into dating after his divorce and has a hard time meeting the right women. He tries online dating and lucks out when he starts chatting with a fellow lawyer. The two agree to meet in the flesh, but the woman he meets — an escaped African-American convict named Charlene — is not what he expected. Peter is freaked out, but Charlene tries to convince him to take her case and prove her innocence. Along the way, she wreaks havoc on his middle-class life as he gets a lesson in learning to lighten up.

With the aid of his girlfriend, Phyllis Potter, and best friend, Loomis, Grimm enters a Manhattan bank dressed as a clown, creates a hostage situation and executes a flawless robbery. The only thing left for the trio to do is make their getaway out of the city and to the airport. It sounds simple enough, but it seems that fate deserts them immediately after the bank heist. One mishap after another conspires to keep these robbers from reaching freedom.

When lesbian detective Abigail Marks teams up with gay guy Michael Dalmar to solve the disappearance of his twin, Kyle Dalmar, a famed portrait photographer, their investigation leads them into the Kyle's risque world. With Michael posing as Kyle, the pair uncover assistants who have designs on their bosses, clients who have an interest in detectives, and killers who want them stopped.

When famous detective Nick Carter visits Prague, he becomes involved in strange case of a missing dog and even stranger carnivorous plant. He becomes convinced that he is standing against his greatest enemy, the Gardener, who supposedly died years ago in a swamp...

Ogden Spencer Trulow III is a wealthy kleptomaniac who turned to stealing when he was spurned by a girl. His psychoanalyst advises him to find another girl for a cure. He fastens his interest upon Sally Martin, who happens to be engaged upon helping some crooks steal a valuable necklace. Complications include two scantily attired individuals, one of them drunk, clinging to the cornice of a skyscraper and a large band of crooks in quest of the precious jewels.

A good looking female social welfare worker makes Egon Olsen forget about crimes for some time, but when an American gangster breaks into a local bank and the police think its Egon's work, he has to get back to work to prove he's innocent.

An eccentric East German inventor and defector travels to Los Angeles, California to sell a prototype revolutionary new car that runs on vegetables and produces no pollution, but he runs into one madcap situation after another to find a buyer and financier for mass production.

Now that Frollo is gone, Quasimodo rings the bell with the help of his new friend and Esmeralda's and Phoebus' little son, Zephyr. But when Quasi stops by a traveling circus owned by evil magician Sarousch, he falls for Madellaine, Sarouch's assistant.

It was an ingenious enough plan: rob the Riviera Casino's count room during an Elvis impersonator convention. But Thomas Murphy decided to keep all the money for himself and shot all his partners, including recently-freed ex-con Michael Zane. With $3.2 million at stake, the Marshals Service closing in, Michael must track down Murphy.

Two boys, still grieving the death of their mother, find themselves the unwitting benefactors of a bag of bank robbery loot in the week before the United Kingdom switches its official currency to the Euro. What's a kid to do?

Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! This fictionalized version of Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States, but inadvertently gets involved in a bank robbery with hostages.

Upon his release from a mental hospital following a nervous breakdown, the directionless Anthony joins his friend Dignan, who seems far less sane than the former. Dignan has hatched a harebrained scheme for an as-yet-unspecified crime spree that somehow involves his former boss, the (supposedly) legendary Mr. Henry.