You Keep the Kids

Walter Paisley, a busboy at a cappuccino bar called the Jabberjaw, is praised as a genius after he kills his landlady's cat and covers it in plaster. Pressured to produce more work, he goes after bigger subjects.

Bernie and Joan are two fiery flirters who are passionate about everything from hookups to breakups and each other. When he sets up his best friend, Danny, with her roommate, Debbie, the sparks soon fly as they try to navigate the relationship minefields from the bar to the bedroom and are eventually put to the test in the real world.

In Manhattan, the British limousine driver Alfie is surrounded by beautiful women, having one night stands with all of them and without any sort of commitment. His best friends are his colleague Marlon and his girl-friend Lonette. Alfie has a brief affair with Lonette, and the consequences force Alfie to reflect on his lifestyle.

Five hapless inner-city low-lifes attempt to burgle a pawnbroker's safe, but end up being plagued by bad luck.

The adventures of married couple Henry and Nancy Clark, vexed by misfortune while in New York City for Henry's job interview.

Eddie, the 40-year-old confirmed bachelor finally says "I do" to the beautiful and sexy Lila. But during their honeymoon in Mexico, the woman of his dreams turns out to be a total nightmare, and the guy who could never pull the trigger realizes he’s jumped the gun.

A young man falls for a young woman on his trip home; unbeknownst to him, her family has vowed to kill every member of his family.

Jimmie is seeing his single friends get married one by one. He isn't too worried until his girlfriend Anne catches the bouquet at his friend Marco's wedding. Suddenly, his wild mustang days are numbered. He finally decides to propose to her, but he sticks his foot in his mouth and botches the proposal. Being insulted by the defeatist proposal, Anne leaves town on an assignment. After she's gone, he finds out that his recently-deceased grandfather's will stipulates that he gets nothing of a multi-million dollar fortune unless he's married by 6:05pm on his 30th birthday: tomorrow! Not being able to find Anne, Jimmie begins backtracking through his past girlfriends to find a wife.

A Wild West cow town is starving for entertainment and it falls upon Calamity Jane, a rowdy, gun-toting tomboy, to go to Chicago to bring back a famed stage actress. She brings instead the star's maid, who settles in the town, but Jane's "Secret Love" falls for her. This television special was based on a stage adaptation of the film that was playing regional circuits at the time it aired.

Seymour Krelborn is a nerdy orphan working at Mushnik's, a flower shop in urban Skid Row. He harbors a crush on fellow co-worker Audrey Fulquard, and is berated by Mr. Mushnik daily. One day Seymour finds a very mysterious unidentified plant which he calls Audrey II. The plant seems to have a craving for blood and soon begins to sing for his supper.

Judge George brings his young wife, Nathalie, to a remote island for a vacation. But while George accompanies their only neighbor -- Nathalie's childhood friend Lance -- on a fishing trip, Nathalie spends time with her ex, Kent. When Kent ends up dead the next morning, Nathalie tries to hide the evidence before her husband gets home. After the body is found, the events of the previous night unravel, with unexpected revelations.

The Baker brood moves to Chicago after patriarch Tom gets a job coaching football at Northwestern University, forcing his writer wife, Mary, and the couple's 12 children to make a major adjustment. The transition works well until work demands pull the parents away from home, leaving the kids bored -- and increasingly mischievous.

Brewster, an aging minor-league baseball player, stands to inherit 300 million dollars if he can successfully spend 30 million dollars in 30 days without anything to show for it, and without telling anyone what he's up to... A task that's a lot harder than it sounds!

After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it -- but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.

Lion's Heart

Legless Southern inventor Dr. Arliss Loveless plans to rekindle the Civil War by assassinating President U.S. Grant. Only two men can stop him: gunfighter James West and master-of-disguise and inventor Artemus Gordon. The two must team up to thwart Loveless' plans.

Beverly Hills couple Barbara and Dave Whiteman find their lives altered by the arrival of a vagrant who tries to drown himself in their swimming pool.

Six-year-old Susan Walker has doubts about childhood's most enduring miracle—Santa Claus. Her mother told her the secret about Santa a long time ago, but, after meeting a special department store Santa who's convinced he's the real thing, Susan is given the most precious gift of all—something to believe in.

Two best friends become rivals when their respective weddings are accidentally booked for the same day.

A gay cabaret owner and his drag queen companion agree to put up a false straight front so that their son can introduce them to his fiancée's conservative moralistic parents.