A lowly pencil pusher working for MI7, Johnny English is suddenly promoted to super spy after Agent One is assassinated and every other agent is blown up at his funeral. When a billionaire entrepreneur sponsors the exhibition of the Crown Jewels—and the valuable gems disappear on the opening night and on English's watch—the newly-designated agent must jump into action to find the thief and recover the missing gems.
Mario, a young philanderer, receives 13 antique chairs in a bad state by inheritance and decides to sell off them to get some money. Afterwards he gets to know that one of them contains documents worth a lot of money. So he begins an adventurous trip to regain possession of the chair. On the way he meets many strange people who would like to help or to swindle him.
Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.
Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.
During World War II, two French civilians and a downed British Bomber Crew set out from Paris to cross the demarcation line between Nazi-occupied Northern France and the South. From there they will be able to escape to England. First, they must avoid German troops – and the consequences of their own blunders.
Honey Skinner is proud of her successful husband. When he tells her he's going to ask for a raise, she knows he'll get it. He asks his boss just as their big client announces he's not renewing his contract. He doesn't get the raise, but he's too embarrassed to tell his wife the truth. She starts making plans to spend that extra $10 a week; the first thing is a new dress suit for him and a new outfit for her so they can fit in at a swanky party. They're the hit of the party, and Honey is embraced by the 'smart set.' Meanwhile, business is bad and Skinner loses his job. The tailor is after him for payment on the suit, and Honey is still spending the salary he doesn't have.
It's time for Robert and his team to make their mark on the music scene. Or maybe it's 40 years too late. In Nashville you play for free so you might get found. This surreal musical comedy follows Robert, his manager (ex girlfriend), roommate/drummer, and driver (bass player) as they work through the highs and lows of a life in music.
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.
A member of the English upper class dies, leaving his estate and his business to an American, whom he thinks is his son who was lost as a baby and then found again. An Englishman who thinks he is an Indian comes to believe that he is actually the heir. He comes to hate the American who is his boss, his friend, and the man who has stolen the woman after whom he lusts.
William Bradberry, an absent-minded Egyptologist, turns from a henpecked husband to a dominating one who, unknown to his daughter Betty and wife, writes theatre musical comedy on the side. And saves his daughter from the unsavory millionaire, Victor Smith she almost marries before she marries the decent man Tommy Dawson. A lost film.
Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation, so he joins the Foreign Legion—with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there's trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
A hot-shot lawyer is hired by a Hong Kong chemical plant to dispose of opposition to their polluting ways. But when he falls for a beautiful woman out to stop the plant, he is torn in a conflict of interest and asks his trusty friends Samo and Biao to help out at least until they discover the true purpose of the plant.
Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the story ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
The members of the Lambda Lambda Lambda fraternity travel to Fort Lauderdale for a fraternity conference. They'll have to beat off the attacks of their rival frat, the Alphas, if they want to maintain their self-respect -- and, of course, if they want to get anywhere with the pretty girls!
With their headmistress under lock and key in her majesty's prison, the St Trinian's girls find themselves under the protection of the army. However, when the sixth form take a fancy to winning a trip to Italy through means fair or foul, the army discover this is one battle they can't win. Let loose in Europe, it is not long before St Trinian's have succeeded in endangering European relations.
Meltozoid!—The Remake is a comedy about revenge. When a hack producer sets plans in motion to remake a classic 60s B-horror film, the film's director literally rolls over in his grave and returns to stop his beloved movie's legacy from being tarnished!
Pressure from his boss and a skin-cream client produces a talking boil on a British adman's neck.