Ass Clowns: Constipated

Bob, his girlfriend and her mother are driving through South America. Bob wants to get married at the next town, Los Poach-os Egg-os, where they are currently holding a festival called Dontdoit Day. The road to wedded bliss for Bob and his girl hits a slight bump as his girl catches the eye of a dashing gaucho, and the Mayor, who is the only official in town who can perform the wedding, refuses to do so on Dontdoit Day. In addition, Bob has been the bane of the Mayor's existence since arriving in town, in part since Bob has also cast his eyes on a pretty señorita, who happens to be courted by the Mayor.

John Brown is a bumbling but well-intentioned security guard who is badly injured in an explosion planned by an evil mastermind. He is taken to a laboratory, where Brenda, a leading robotics surgeon, replaces his damaged limbs with state-of-the-art gadgets and tools. Named "Inspector Gadget" by the press, John -- along with his niece, Penny, and her trusty dog, Brain -- uses his new powers to discover who was behind the explosion.

Eight-year-old Kevin McCallister makes the most of the situation after his family unwittingly leaves him behind when they go on Christmas vacation. But when a pair of bungling burglars set their sights on Kevin's house, the plucky kid stands ready to defend his territory. By planting booby traps galore, adorably mischievous Kevin stands his ground as his frantic mother attempts to race home before Christmas Day.

Instead of flying to Florida with his folks, Kevin ends up alone in New York, where he gets a hotel room with his dad's credit card—despite problems from a clerk and meddling bellboy. But when Kevin runs into his old nemeses, the Wet Bandits, he's determined to foil their plans to rob a toy store on Christmas Eve.

Pepa resolves to kill herself with a batch of sleeping-pill-laced gazpacho after her lover leaves her. Fortunately, she is interrupted by a deliciously chaotic series of events.

A compilation of clips from 19 Abbott & Costello features: The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap, In the Navy, Hit the Ice, Who Done It?, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Mexican Hayride, Hold That Ghost, Abbott and Costello in the Foreign Legion, Little Giant, In Society, Ride 'Em Cowboy, The Naughty Nineties, Buck Privates Come Home, Buck Privates, Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops, Lost in Alaska, Comin' Round the Mountain, Abbott and Costello Go to Mars and Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. - Written by Tom Weaver

The trademark of The Phantom, a renowned jewel thief, is a glove left at the scene of the crime. Inspector Clouseau, an expert on The Phantom's exploits, feels sure that he knows where The Phantom will strike next and leaves Paris for the Tyrolean Alps, where the famous Lugashi jewel 'The Pink Panther' is going to be. However, he does not know who The Phantom really is, or for that matter who anyone else really is...

Alex the lion is the king of the urban jungle, the main attraction at New York's Central Park Zoo. He and his best friends—Marty the zebra, Melman the giraffe and Gloria the hippo—have spent their whole lives in blissful captivity before an admiring public and with regular meals provided for them. Not content to leave well enough alone, Marty lets his curiosity get the better of him and makes his escape—with the help of some prodigious penguins—to explore the world.

A brash and precocious ten-year-old comes to Paris for a whirlwind weekend with her rakish uncle.

A tailor's apprentice burns Count Broko's clothes while ironing them and the tailor fires him. Later, the tailor discovers a note explaining that the count cannot attend a dance party, so he dresses as such to take his place; but the apprentice has also gone to the mansion where the party is celebrated and bumps into the tailor in disguise…

A bumbling tramp desires to build a home with a young woman, yet is thwarted time and time again by his lack of experience and habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time..

Venu is an orphan who works as a taxi driver. He is mistakenly nabbed by the police for kidnapping Gopika Varma, an NRI girl. Will he be able to prove his innocence?

He's Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Jim Carrey is on the case to find the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. Whether he's undercover, under fire or underwater, he always gets his man… or beast!

Rufus T. Firefly is named president/dictator of bankrupt Freedonia and declares war on neighboring Sylvania over the love of wealthy Mrs. Teasdale.

When timid bank clerk Stanley Ipkiss discovers a magical mask containing the spirit of the Norse god Loki, his entire life changes. While wearing the mask, Ipkiss becomes a supernatural playboy exuding charm and confidence which allows him to catch the eye of local nightclub singer Tina Carlyle. Unfortunately, under the mask's influence, Ipkiss also robs a bank, which angers junior crime lord Dorian Tyrell, whose goons get blamed for the heist.

A film projectionist longs to be a detective, and puts his meagre skills to work when he is framed by a rival for stealing his girlfriend's father's pocketwatch.

Jokes fly as the Tune Squad takes on the Nerdlucks in a hardcourt game to decide if the Looney Tunes remain here... or become attractions at a far-off galactic off-ramp called Moron Mountain. The Nerdlucks have a monstrous secret weapon: they've stolen the skills of top NBA stars like Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing and become Monstars. But that's not all, folks. The Tune Squad’s secret weapon just happens to be the finest player in this or any other universe. He's outta this world. So's the fun.

When he has to pay a debt to a fearsome money lender, a man accepts the help of a friend who takes him to a scientist where he can sell his body, but things get worse than expected.

Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.

9-year-old Alex Pruitt is home alone with the chicken pox. Turns out, due to a mix-up among nefarious spies, Alex was given a toy car concealing a top-secret microchip. Now Alex must fend off the spies as they try to break into his house to get it back.