Ass Clowns: Constipated

In "Porch Pirates," three detectives—Jack Tyler, Marcos Fernandez, and Sally Jones—tackle the challenge of catching a group of holiday thieves. As they strive to safeguard the festive season, they also manage personal struggles. Jack balances his demanding job with his vibrant family life, while widower Marcos grapples with his grief during the holidays. The plot thickens with a high-stakes mission to retrieve a valuable Beanie Baby stolen from the Mayor's porch, threatening the town's Christmas spirit. This thrilling chase is laden with humor, surprising turns, and a sprinkle of holiday magic, reminding us that Christmas joy comes from unity, laughter, and sometimes, chasing the perfect, unconventional gift.

The plot concerns a female press agent who must select a "Mr. Manhattan" and "Miss Brooklyn" for an ad campaign mounted by a soup company. The Mr. Manhattan chosen is a singing soda jerk, who doesn't want to play along until he is given the honor of choosing his own Miss Brooklyn.

It's the Krusty Krab's eleventy-seventh anniversary, and the nostalgia has SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs looking back on key events in their lives. Right before the party begins, however, they all get locked in the freezer! With a hungry crowd and Plankton ready to steal the formula, they race through the air ducts to find a way out. Meanwhile, Patchy goes to Nickelodeon Studios to cast a star-studded 10th anniversary special. When the big event airs, however, he finds the guest of honor didn't show up...SpongeBob himself.

A tailor's apprentice burns Count Broko's clothes while ironing them and the tailor fires him. Later, the tailor discovers a note explaining that the count cannot attend a dance party, so he dresses as such to take his place; but the apprentice has also gone to the mansion where the party is celebrated and bumps into the tailor in disguise…

When a cold medicine causes Sach to be able to smell diamonds, he and the rest of the Bowery Boys are induced by a diamond dealer to accompany him to Darkest Africa in search of a legendary cache of them.

Will Nitch is on a mission to achieve a transendental tantric sexual experience: a sustained orgasm. He begins to assemble a Secret Society of Women: women are, afterall, pivotal to helping a man to reach the cosmic blue lights. Will wants all the women for himself, and with the help of all the women in his life and his friend Chip, he plans a midnight tantric sex party; during which he hopes to climax to the point of reaching the mythical blue lights.

A man receives a breakup letter from his sweetheart, who sends him back his photo, in pieces. The pained lover decides to reply. Fountain pen, penholder, desk, stamps, paper and inkwell all contrive diabolically to thwart him.

New girl Cassie and outcast Maggie are easily the most awkward girls in high school. Together, they decide the way to win the hearts of the cute boys and popular girls is to come in first at the school talent show. But rivals Heather, Other Heather, and their popular boyfriends Brett and Dirk will stop at nothing to keep our heroes the laughing stock of the school. It's going to take makeovers, courage, and maybe even a little rapping to beat them in true 80s style.

A film projectionist longs to be a detective, and puts his meagre skills to work when he is framed by a rival for stealing his girlfriend's father's pocketwatch.

The lives of Stan Laurel (1890-1965) and Oliver Hardy (1892-1957), on the screen and behind the curtain. The joy and the sadness, the success and the failure. The story of one of the best comic duos of all time: a lesson on how to make people laugh.

The trademark of The Phantom, a renowned jewel thief, is a glove left at the scene of the crime. Inspector Clouseau, an expert on The Phantom's exploits, feels sure that he knows where The Phantom will strike next and leaves Paris for the Tyrolean Alps, where the famous Lugashi jewel 'The Pink Panther' is going to be. However, he does not know who The Phantom really is, or for that matter who anyone else really is...

Four animal friends get a taste of the wild life when they break out of captivity at the Central Park Zoo and wash ashore on the island of Madagascar.

He's Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Jim Carrey is on the case to find the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. Whether he's undercover, under fire or underwater, he always gets his man… or beast!

A brash and precocious ten-year-old comes to Paris for a whirlwind weekend with her rakish uncle.

A bumbling tramp desires to build a home with a young woman, yet is thwarted time and time again by his lack of experience and habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time..

Rufus T. Firefly is named president/dictator of bankrupt Freedonia and declares war on neighboring Sylvania over the love of wealthy Mrs. Teasdale.

Eight-year-old Kevin McCallister makes the most of the situation after his family unwittingly leaves him behind when they go on Christmas vacation. When thieves try to break into his home, he puts up a fight like no other.

Instead of flying to Florida with his folks, Kevin ends up alone in New York, where he gets a hotel room with his dad's credit card—despite problems from a clerk and meddling bellboy. But when Kevin runs into his old nemeses, the Wet Bandits, he's determined to foil their plans to rob a toy store on Christmas Eve.

John Brown is a bumbling but well-intentioned security guard who is badly injured in an explosion planned by an evil mastermind. He is taken to a laboratory, where Brenda, a leading robotics surgeon, replaces his damaged limbs with state-of-the-art gadgets and tools. Named "Inspector Gadget" by the press, John -- along with his niece, Penny, and her trusty dog, Brain -- uses his new powers to discover who was behind the explosion.

Aa Columbia 2-reel comedy starring Tom Kennedy and Monty Collins in NEW NEWS (1937). Fans of the 3 Stooges will recognize the exact same plot and situations from their short CRASH GOES THE HASH (1944). Yes, this version came out BEFORE the Stooges version...so anyone that says these guys are ripping the Stooges off, they are wrong! Columbia made 526 slapstick two-reelers between 1933-1958...190 starred the Stooges...336 others starred a variety of comedians.