Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans

Alexis, Sylvia and Ellen are a trio of legendary scream queens. After the head of a motion picture studio invites them out to a very special screening in exchange for the possibility of a lead role in an upcoming horror film, the three women slowly become suspicious... not only of their circumstances, but also each other. They begin to realize that the horrific footage they are watching might be real and that they might be trapped in the deserted studio with a bonafide killer.

Four stories intersect in this violent film parody. Exterminators dress as hit men and try to protect the wife of their boss, Montello. Meanwhile, the strippers at Montello's strip club, dressed as nuns, attempt to rob him. Tag-team wrestlers steal Montello's briefcase, thinking its contents are valuable. Finally, Bumpkin, running to deliver a script, loses a lot of the pages.

Hercules is sent from Mount Olympus to modern-day Manhattan, where he takes up professional wrestling before getting mixed up with a gang of mobsters.

In this Depression-era tale, Calef McKinney, traveling from Michigan to California, stops in Spooner, Missouri, where Lute hires him for odd jobs. Calef gets involved with Lute's niece, Hannah. But she's married to Sidney, a wife-beating drunk who hopes to inherit his uncle-in-law's money. Sidney and an eccentric preacher plot against Calef, who finds it difficult to conceal his mysterious past and his growing affection for Sidney's wife.

Clint must flee after his wife is killed by a psychopathic cop, who tries to pin the murder on him.

Dressed in a long raincoat, Eve follows the handyman around as he makes his appointed rounds. She witnesses humorous run-ins on his various errands. But why is she watching him so carefully?

An old geezer recalls some of the antics of the citizens of his Western town, more wild and woolly than Tombstone or Dodge City. In this town, they shoot like Stormtroopers, the women seek new meat, and practical jokers abound.

A door-to-door salesman of dental appliances encounters beautiful, well-endowed nude women everywhere he goes.

Stud's world revolves entirely around sex, sex, and more sex — an interest he shares with his way-out friends and his girl Kitty, who likes her men mean and muscular!

A young man suffering from significant childhood trauma believes there are portals to the darkness around him that can be accessed through extreme self-mutilation. He locks himself in his home and proceeds to perform acts to summon the Goddess Ishtar to help him cross over to the other side.

When three best friends from college reunite for their 25th year reunion, revenge becomes the order of day. A possessed clown doll is sent on a mission of murder to the local frat house…

John Reilly discovers that his family's newly inherited castle in Italy is haunted by a relentless, bloodthirsty creature.

A recent transplant to Bradbury Academy is finding it difficult to contain his deadly empathic powers, soon resorting to using his gift in order to exact revenge when the other guys gang up on him.

When two genetically created dinosaurs end up on the loose, it's up to a team of rag tag mercenaries to capture them. When the realize that the dinosaurs are bred as smart as humans, the game of cat and mouse turns for the worst.

When the self-conscious villain known only as the Red Scarf begins terrorizing local saloons, town drunk and local hero the Lame Ranger and his trusty sidekick Best Buy must use all their wits to stop him and defend the Wild West.

Within the decadent walls of the Frankenstein mansion, the Baron and his depraved assistant Otto have discovered the means of creating new life. As the Baron's laboratory begins to fill up with stitched body parts, the Baroness dallies with the randy new manservant and soon the decadent, permissive household is consumed by an outrageous, bizarre and hilarious combination of death and dismemberment.

A small country town is terrorized by an escaped mental patient who believes himself to be the "Grim Reaper."

Russel Brody, a one-time successful playwright, works diligently on a follow-up play that could land him back in the spotlight he so early craves. With a baby on the way, however, and a strained marriage, stress and frustration take center stage. When his wife accidentally stumbles down the stairs and dies from her injuries, Brody's mental state goes from bad to one of utter despair. In a bid to help his friend regain his sanity, Brody's co-writer David Stanley suggests he revisits Lucy, his former mistress. The ghost of Brody's dead wife awakens to the sordid details of his unfaithfulness, enraging her supernatural spirit to haunt him in every horrifying way imaginable.

After Christopher Robin abandons them for college, Pooh and Piglet embark on a bloody rampage as they search for a new source of food.

In a post apocalyptic world run by vampires, only the strong survive. John Shepard, Vampire Hunter, is one of them. John has to track down and eliminate the master vampire before he himself gets turned.