We Can't Have Everything

A horse racing comedy in which Mabel Normand plays the part of the driver after her lover has been bound and hidden away by the villain and his tools.

Smith's chum is a very poor Baron. Smith and the Baron are invited to a ball, and the Baron, not having evening clothes of his own, "borrows" Smith's dress suit. He is having the time of his life when Smith arrives, thoroughly angry, and taking the Baron in a room takes the clothes away from him. The Baron is in a terrible predicament, dodging around from room to room, as people intrude upon his hiding places. He tries to hide his face with a handkerchief, and a lady catches a glimpse of him as he dives under a bed. She screams in terror, thinking he is a mad man, and then the poor Baron is chased all over the house. Someone telephones for the police and they assist in the capture and lead him away.

The daughter of a count and the son of a shoemaker, both Hungarian, fall in love in America. As they're about to marry, the young woman is called back to Europe. When her betrothed goes after her, difficulties ensue.

Hiram, a country youth, is in love with Sallie. They go fishing and Sallie falls into the water. Hiram cannot swim, so he runs to the road and stops an automobile, driven by Alfred, a city chap. The latter rescues Sallie, and she feels grateful to him. His attentions to Sallie are not displeasing, and Hiram becomes insanely jealous.

After her father's death, socialite Elaine Fleetwood promises to marry a man she does not love. However, she leaves him at the altar during a wedding ceremony, cuts her hair and decides to disguise herself as a boy and go prospecting in northwest Tasmania. She meets a handsome miner who figures out she is a woman, saves her from a villain and marries her.

A chorus girl breaks a deal with her boss by marrying the rich man she was supposed to ruin.

Elderly Spanish nobleman Don Julian is happily married to Teodora, a beautiful young girl, when his protégé, young poet Ernesto, comes to live with them. Vicious gossip spreads false rumors of a love affair between the two young people and the evil Don Alvarez, the most bitter slanderer of all, goads Ernesto into challenging him to a duel. Don Julian, realizing that the youth is no match for one of the best swordsmen in Spain, forces the slanderer into a fight in which Don Alvarez is slain and Don Julian gravely wounded. Ernesto calls upon the dying Don Julian to convince him of his wife's innocence. Misled by his brother Severo, Don Julian believes the youth has come to visit Teodora, denouncing them both before dying, ironically driving Ernesto and Teodora from the house to face the world together.

Heiress Rhoda Canby is badgered by her eccentric relatives Uncle Silas, Aunt Elizabeth, and Cousin Hepzibah. She falls in love with writer Irving Mason, who believes Rhoda to be the heiress' secretary, and courts her as chauffeur "Henry Smith." Accompanied by her African-American nurse Aunt Chloe, Rhoda runs away from home. Irving, meanwhile, is abducted. Upon reading of the supposed suicide of Irving Mason, Rhoda assumes the role of widow and visits his hometown. There she is befriended by Irving's uncles and goes to work in the family's general store. Irving escapes his captors and surreptitiously returns home, but is surprised to find himself presumed dead and Rhoda his widow. When the family store catches fire and Irving saves Rhoda, their true identities are revealed, after which they are married.

On the eve of the marriage of her daughter, Alita, Mrs. Allen, unhappily married for 25 years, advocates writer Fannie Hurst's widely publicized mode of living with her husband: only two breakfasts a week together and complete freedom otherwise.

Business failure Ernest Todd is advised by his friend, Billy Breese, to enlist his wife's charms as a means of winning customers.

The stain on honor

Having been in show biz since infancy, Broadway chorus girl Beatrice regrets her lack of formal education, so when she unexpectedly falls heir to a huge sum of money, Beatrice decides to make up for lost time.

Snobbish attorney Charles 'Beauty' Steele loses his wife due to his drinking and his airs at the same time that his brother-in-law absconds with funds belonging to one of Steele's clients. In search of the thief, Steele is attacked and left for dead. He is rescued by a kindly couple, but suffers from amnesia. He starts life afresh and is happy, until the return of his memory sends him back to resolve his old involvements.

Snobbish attorney Charles 'Beauty' Steele loses his wife due to his drinking and his airs at the same time that his brother-in-law absconds with funds belonging to one of Steele's clients. In search of the thief, Steele is attacked and left for dead. He is rescued by a kindly couple, but suffers from amnesia.

Jones is a traveling salesman -- or drummer, as they were known in those days -- who peddles Bibles and playing cards at a discount. Along with Professor Goodly, he goes to a prize fight which is raided by the police. The two men wind up at a boarding school for young ladies where Jones is mistaken for the Bishop of Timbuctoo.

Heeding the pleas of Bobbie Brown, Jimmie Jones packs his trunk full of liquor to present to his desperate friend and hops on a train. Upon his arrival, Jones discovers that his cargo has been purloined in transit, and while attempting to replenish his supplies by bargaining with the local bootlegger, is detected by the local sheriff.

Gibbs is a laborer at the docks who, through his hard work and good judgment, becomes a millionaire on Wall Street. He becomes acquainted with the Van Dusens, who have lost their fortune. Mrs. Van Dusen pushes her daughter Marie into a loveless marriage with Gibbs so that the family can retain its social standing. Gibbs realizes, however, that his money cannot buy his wife's affection.

The Legion's mascot, Cigarette falls for an Englishman, Bertie Cecil (Herbert Heyes), and when he is sentenced to a firing squad, she heroically takes the bullet herself.

When composer Anselm Kardos leaves his alcoholic wife, he gives his daughter Lily an unfinished love ode entitled "The Song of Songs" and warns her to keep her artistic temperament in check.

In front of the salvation Army headquarters. An old man who is being teased by a flock of children, is almost run over by a car. Out of the headquarters gates march singing and playing female Salvation Army soldiers. One of the women is on her way to a nearby restaurant where the two sisters Ruth and Fanny works as waitresses.