Merton of the Movies

It's 1987, and best friends Romy and Michele, fresh out of high school, are desperate to get away from their square hometown of Tucson and take their rightful place amongst the beautiful, hip people of Hollywood.

In this send-up of the Humphrey Bogart detective films of the 1940s, a man idolizes Bogart so much that he has his features altered to look exactly like him and then opens up a detective agency under the name Sam Marlow.

Ann, a 19-year-old girl who looks much younger, meets a dashing army major on a boat sailing from Liverpool to Bombay, India, and falls in love with him. Her love appears to be unrequited, though, because the major thinks she is far too young--and also, unknown to her, because he had once been in love with her mother. When a fellow passenger on the ship takes advantage of the naive girl the major comes to her rescue, but in the process the girl finds out about the past relationship between he and her mother.

Ann Barton, the daughter of a once-wealthy family, is forced to clerk at the cigar counter of a village hotel, where she meets James McDonald, a breezy, handsome salesman. Ann is adopted by an aristocratic aunt, who disapproves of James's manners and breaks up Ann's relationship with him. Ann soon revenges herself on her aunt by placing both her aunt and herself in compromising positions.

The Misleading Widow is a 1919 silent film comedy starring Billie Burke as Betty Taradine. It was based on the 1917 stage play Billeted by F. Tennyson Jesse and H.M. Harwood. The film was produced by Famous Players-Lasky and distributed through Paramount Pictures. It appears to be a lost film.

A clueless man finds a bomb on the street and keeps throwing it to the crowd around him. The sketch then moves with the clueless nerd getting involved in all sorts of troubles until he accidentally gets into a hideout from a terrorist group that will complicate things for him more than he ever hoped.

A Harold Lloyd short featuring a young Snooky the chimp

Maya Dolittle can talk to animals. She gets discovered and Tiffany Monaco, a Hollywood star, brings her to L.A. to help her little puppy, who turns out to be a boy.

Guy is a young film executive who's willing to do whatever it takes to make it in Hollywood. He begins working for famed producer Buddy Ackerman, a domineering, manipulative, coldhearted boss. When Guy also finds out that his cynical girlfriend, Dawn, has been using sex as a career move, he reaches his limit. Guy decides to exact revenge on Buddy by kidnapping him and subjecting him to cruel and unusual punishment.

A husband, jealous of his wife's flirtations with another man, hatches a plot to make his wife jealous.

Two married, down-on-their-luck, actors decide to put on a site-specific play about their unsuccessful life in Hollywood.

According to Richard Standhope's will, both his daughter Laura and her long-lost twin brother Larry must be reunited by a certain date, or the estate will revert to her avaricious guardian, Andrew Brean. Following Standhope's death, Laura and her sweetheart, Jim Watson, read in her deceased mother's diary that Andrew had broken up the Standhopes' marriage soon after the twins' birth by unjustly accusing Mrs. Standhope of infidelity. Laura was then sent to boarding school, while little Larry, placed in his father's care, was neglected and later became a thief. As Laura and Jim ponder Larry's whereabouts, the house is robbed by none other than Larry, now called "the Kid," and his cohort, "the Snail."

Roma Wycliffe, a high-spirited girl bored with the lavender-and-old-lace atmosphere of her Aunt Henrietta's estate, discovers that her grandmother was a gypsy and decides to become one herself.

Muggsy Mulane, a waif who wears boy's clothing, jumps a freight train to the country after Jimmy "the Eel," the leader of the gang of crooks with whom she works, is arrested. In the village of Cottonville, Muggsy befriends Aunt Sarah, whom she later discovers is Jimmy's mother. When Muggsy learns that the greedy Judge Cotton, who holds the mortgage on Aunt Sarah's property, is planning to foreclose, she threatens to blackmail him, and he relents.

The Simpsons go for a picnic in the woods. After luncheon, while mother and father enjoy a nap, Betty, their beautiful daughter, strolls away, picking flowers. When near a hillside, Betty sees a snake and screams. She starts to run away, but bumps into Billy Gilwater. He kills the snake and Betty calls him a hero.

Honey Skinner is proud of her successful husband. When he tells her he's going to ask for a raise, she knows he'll get it. He asks his boss just as their big client announces he's not renewing his contract. He doesn't get the raise, but he's too embarrassed to tell his wife the truth. She starts making plans to spend that extra $10 a week; the first thing is a new dress suit for him and a new outfit for her so they can fit in at a swanky party. They're the hit of the party, and Honey is embraced by the 'smart set.' Meanwhile, business is bad and Skinner loses his job. The tailor is after him for payment on the suit, and Honey is still spending the salary he doesn't have.

Struggling young painter Ruth Elliott has written her Eastern friend Mildred Colburn that she has gained fame in the West as an artist. When Mildred stops to visit on her way to Honolulu, Ruth hires Peter Neyland to pose as her chauffeur for five hours. Peter is actually a wealthy young man who accepts the offer as a lark.

Elena Evans is raised by her puritanical Aunt Elvira, who believes that because of Elena's mother, Elena possesses "the scarlet strain."

Former child star Joe Davis, reduced to living in a cheap Hollywood motel while struggling for acting jobs, is lusted after by nearly every woman he meets, including Jessica Todd, a tightly wound feminist who has recently come out as a lesbian. When Jessica's mother, Sally, an emotionally needy has-been actress, meets Joe, she moves him into her enormous, tacky mansion as her new boy toy and attempts to get him acting work.

A tramp enters a cabaret and orders a drink, but then is thrown out when he cannot pay for it. After trying again, he is told by the manager that if he wants to avoid being charged and sent to jail, he will have to work.