Piecemeal, chaotic slapstick comedy revolving around honeymooners and various misunderstandings.
Luke Drummond, popularly known as "Unlucky Luke," and Seth Powers, his friend and chum, have a mock quarrel over a new school teacher as to who saw her first. They roll in the dirt to the disgust of the lady herself, who witnesses the bout, though she does not know the cause. Luke and Seth, in common with many other citizens, are unsettled by the charm and grace of the new teacher. The two young men vie with each other as to which shall escort her home from school, leading to humorous situations.
The old Atwell home is said to be haunted, and Jeremy Foster, the gardener--who is actually the head of a band of thieves that use the house for a hideout--does his best to keep the superstition alive. Despite the rumors, impoverished sisters Lois and Alice Atwell decide to move into the empty family home. They take possession the same night that Ted Rawson is ordered to explore the place as an initiation rite by his fraternity.
William Lowry rescues Claudia Royce from a burning building, and upon hearing that her parents are trying to force her to accept millionaire Leland, whom she does not love, he proposes a marriage of convenience to himself. She accepts, and Bill arranges a fake ceremony; but when she falls in love with Davidge, Bill refuses her a "divorce." Later, Bill gets rich in the manufacture of a patented fireman's pole, and when he buys a house for Claudia she realizes her love for him and they are legally married.
A boy named Willie "snaps everything in sight" with his new camera. His targets included: Family members (Ma, Pa, Grandma, Grandpa), family pets (the cat, the old horse, and a St. Bernard), the "scandalous" image of a young man kissing Willie's sister and the Parson and "Miss Old Maid" at a Sunday School picnic.
Returning to his father's cattle ranch after the excitement of serving in combat overseas, Bud McGraw becomes restless, and his father decides to send him to an old friend who commands the Border Police in Texas. On the way he meets Peggy Hughes, accompanying her Uncle Graham, a customs inspector, and he retrieves her hat from the rails of a train. At the headquarters, numerous scrapes and fights win him the admiration of, and friendship with, the men. Lazaro, a Secret Service agent, invites Mrs. Graham and Peggy, who are staying at the border station, for an automobile ride, and they are captured by bandits and held for ransom. Bud and his pals deliver the ransom and discover that Lazaro is the bandit chief. Lazaro refuses to release Peggy, but a jealous rival, Nita de Garma, causes his downfall and shoots him as the Border Police arrive to rescue the party.
Figures Don't Lie is a showcase for the physical charms of lovely Esther Ralston, who in one scene proves the accuracy of the title by donning a fetching one-piece bathing suit. The main story concerns wise-guy insurance salesman Richard Arlen, who through a combination of hard work and sheer gall lands a job as sales manager. But he can't land heroine Ralston, who has remained cool to his charms ever since he tried to make a play for her on the street. A lost film.
A 1919 film directed by Sidney Franklin.
Clarence Brooks is a shy, timid man working for Mr. Flavell. He is love with Flavell's daughter, Nancy. Nancy is shallow and fickle, always chasing after other, less-upstanding men. Clarence enlists when World War I erupts. While Clarence is off defending his country, Nancy's mother arranges for her daughter to marry the wealthy Mr. Braille. When Braille is drafted, Nancy's mother starts arranging a rush wedding, against Nancy's wishes. Nancy claims that she and Clarence are already secretly married. When the war is over and Clarence returns home, he refuses to be a part of her charade. When Clarence declines the offer to marry Nancy for real, she must mature to win his affections back. A lost film.
Lizzie Stokes, an obscure and colorless actress, is elevated to stardom through publicity and better coaching from Daniel Hoffman, a theatrical producer. As Olga Rostova, an exotic Russian, she meets Norman Brooke, whose infatuation turns to love. Hoffman suggests that Norman could never care for Lizzie and proves his point. Heartbroken, Lizzie decides to see no more of him. On closing night, when he proposes to her in her dressing room and she refuses, Norman declares he must believe all the lurid details of her past; in desperation, she bares her true identity, only to find it is not her glamorous image but rather her real self that he loves.
The Transformation: A Sandwich of Nightmares
Doctor Zorba and his followers plan to bring Dracula back to life using electronic means, using blood from victims. Batman saves Marita Banzon and defeats Dracula's creators.
Lindy, an innocent girl reared in a small town, accepts a letter for her friend Mrs. Bates from wealthy landlady Mrs. Cribbley. Believing the letter to be an eviction notice, Lindy postpones delivery, but soon becomes terrified upon learning that mail theft is a felony, and that her dog has destroyed the letter.
When a distant Irish relative dies, a young American travels to Ireland to obtain his inheritance. He gets far more than he bargained for when a beautiful Irish colleen catches his eye.
Tom Clark, the part owner of a luckless gas station in New York, returns to his place of birth for Old Home Week, posing as the millionaire president of the Amalgamated Oil Co. He is chosen as the orator for the homecoming banquet and given complete financial control over an oil well drilled in the town by Coleman and Barton, a pair of oily swindlers. Tom discovers that the well is a fake and has it connected secretly with the local reservoir. A wire from Tom's partner is intercepted, and Tom is exposed as a fraud. Coleman and Barton are about to leave town when Tom fakes a gusher and quickly sells the well back to the swindlers at a profit. The swindlers realize that they have been outsmarted, and their anger convinces the townspeople that Tom has acted in the best interests of the community. Tom is again the toast of the town, feted by its inhabitants and rewarded with the kisses of his sweetheart.
Fernande de Ferney, a young French girl, has spent her time between the convent and the country home of her uncle, where she has learned to passionately love Roger, the son of the Marquise de Monclars. He marries her for her fortune, but does not value what he has so lightly won until she profits by the lesson taught in the little marionette play written by their friend, Nizerolles, and finds that men are much like marionettes.
A poor but honest sheet-music salesman is parted from his wealthy fiancée when she mistakenly comes to believe he’s nothing but a gold digger. But circumstance places him on the board of an exclusive girls’ school, where he can prove his integrity as well as his love. This film is believed lost.
A young woman borrows money from her boss for her wedding dress. After the marriage he asks to be repaid, and she--not liking to ask her husband for money--writes a check on her husband's account. When he discovers that his wife has written a check to another man and not told him, complications ensue.
Chief of Police Ivorytop and Chief of Detectives Sherlock Bonehead, of Rottenport, fall in love with Helen, a girl from the city
The master crook steals the sweetheart of Sherlock, a great detective. Sherlock undertakes to recover her.