The Averages

Ash, a handsome, shotgun-toting, chainsaw-armed department store clerk, is time warped backwards into England's Dark Ages, where he romances a beauty and faces legions of the undead.

Heidi, star of the "Meet The Feebles Variety Hour" discovers her lover Bletch the Walrus is cheating on her. And with all the world waiting for the show, the assorted co-stars must contend with drug addiction, extortion, robbery, disease, drug dealing, and murder.

Mere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around.

Truck driver Jack Burton gets embroiled in a supernatural battle when his best friend Wang Chi's green-eyed fiancée is kidnapped by henchmen of the sorcerer Lo Pan, who must marry a girl with green eyes in order to return to the human realm.

A publishing executive is visited and bitten by a vampire and starts exhibiting erratic behavior. He pushes his secretary to extremes as he tries to come to terms with his affliction.

When a childless couple--an ex-con and an ex-cop--decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintuplets, their lives become more complicated than they anticipated.

Nick Naylor is a charismatic spin-doctor for Big Tobacco who'll fight to protect America's right to smoke -- even if it kills him -- while still remaining a role model for his 12-year old son. When he incurs the wrath of a senator bent on snuffing out cigarettes, Nick's powers of "filtering the truth" will be put to the test.

Clumsy Monsieur Hulot finds himself perplexed by the intimidating complexity of a gadget-filled Paris. He attempts to meet with a business contact but soon becomes lost. His roundabout journey parallels that of an American tourist, and as they weave through the inventive urban environment, they intermittently meet, developing an interest in one another. They eventually get together at a chaotic restaurant, along with several other quirky characters.

Two carefree pals from Brooklyn traveling through rural Alabama on their way back to college are mistakenly arrested, and charged with murder. Fortunately, one of them has a cousin who's a lawyer - Vincent Gambini, a former auto mechanic from Brooklyn who just passed his bar exam after his sixth try. When he arrives with his leather-clad girlfriend, to try his first case, it's a real shock - for him and the Deep South!

After getting into trouble, a mischievous young man is sent to train under a brutal, but slovenly old beggar, who teaches him the secret of the Drunken Fist.

The Bean Pit follows Barold, a disgruntled employee working for BP (Bean Pit) Beans. His day begins like any other, running routine inspections on the Infinite Bean Pit with his co-worker Benny. What first starts as a “normal” day at work quickly devolves into chaos as Barold inadvertently witnesses the terrors that his corporate overlords are trying to hide. Barold finds himself entangled in BP Beans’ web of conspiracies, and can’t seem to find his way out.

Tells the seemingly random yet vitally connected story of a set of incidents that all converge one evening at 11:14pm. The story follows the chain of events of five different characters and five different storylines that all converge to tell the story of murder and deceit.

When a New York reporter plucks crocodile hunter Mick Dundee from the Australian Outback for a visit to the Big Apple, it's a clash of cultures and a recipe for good-natured comedy as naïve Dundee negotiates the concrete jungle. He proves that his instincts are quite useful in the city and adeptly handles everything from wily muggers to high-society snoots without breaking a sweat.

In a world governed by commerce, Ricky and Kate, dedicated employees, find their lives forever changed when they encounter the enigmatic stranger G. As they navigate the realm of commerce, their paths intertwine in a surreal dance of love, loss, and redemption. G's presence, amplified through the pervasive influence of globalized television, casts a spell that reverberates beyond Ricky and Kate, impacting the lives of those who bear witness to their intertwined destinies.

Detectives Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowrey of the Miami Narcotics Task Force are tasked with stopping the flow of the drug Ecstasy into Miami. They track the drugs to the whacked-out Cuban drug lord Johnny Tapia, who is also involved in a bloody war with Russian and Haitian mobsters. If that isn't bad enough, there's tension between the two detectives when Marcus discovers that playboy Mike is secretly romancing Marcus’ sister, Syd.

An African prince decides it’s time for him to find a princess... and his mission leads him and his most loyal friend to Queens, New York. In disguise as an impoverished immigrant, the pampered prince quickly finds himself a new job, new friends, new digs, new enemies and lots of trouble.

After being evicted from their Manhattan apartment, a couple buy what looks like the home of their dreams—only to find themselves saddled with a bank-account-draining nightmare. Struggling to keep their relationship together as their rambling mansion falls to pieces around them, the two watch in hilarious horror as everything—including the kitchen sink—disappears into the Money Pit.

During a rainy day, and while their mother is out, Conrad and Sally, and their pet fish, are visited by the mischievous Cat in the Hat. Fun soon turns to mayhem, and the siblings must figure out how to rid themselves of the maniacal Cat.

A day in the life of a barbershop on the south side of Chicago. Calvin, who inherited the struggling business from his deceased father, views the shop as nothing but a burden and waste of his time. After selling the shop to a local loan shark, Calvin slowly begins to see his father's vision and legacy and struggles with the notion that he just sold it out.