Cinematic Titanic: Legacy of Blood

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

Starship Troopers is the tale of young trooper Johnny Rico, played by Casper Van Dien, star of this and...well, some direct to video sequels of this, mostly. He’s joined in the war by Denise Richards, impossible to believe as a gifted starship pilot long before she was impossible to believe as a gifted nuclear scientist in that Bond movie. He’s also joined by the great Neil Patrick Harris, who is somehow much easier to believe as an intelligence officer with psychic abilities that help him communicate with the giant bug aliens. Throw in Michael Ironside, because duh, it’s a war movie, you’re gonna need Michael Ironside, and Jake Busey, because duh, he just showed up on set and wouldn’t leave, add a love triangle, heaps of alien splatter, and you’ve got the sprawling, great, goofy mess that is Starship Troopers! Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for this gorilla-gram free version of the blockbuster live show!

The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.

American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?

In the show's first-ever Halloween special and first-ever 3D episode, Jonah and the 'Bots watch The Mask (1961).

In the far-off land of Kalid, President Amir lies on his deathbed. If this revered head-of-state dies, the brutal dictatorship that he has so lovingly cultivated will fall into a dark age of uncertainty and chaos. And so, in this moment of crisis, his loyal staff are left with no alternative but to choose the only logical and sensible course of action—to transfer Amir's brain into a younger, healthier, and most importantly, living body. Enter Doctor Robert Trenton, a mad scientist of the traditional 'they all laughed at me and now I'll show them' school. He, along with his assistant, Dorro, a little man with a big appetite for evil, and Tracy, a conniving beauty with a heart that's harder than her leathery, over-tanned skin, concoct a deliriously diabolical plan involving murder, body-napping, skullduggery, and oozy, gooey brains.

In between tending to some sick vacuum-flowers, Joel Hodgson and his robot buddy Crow begin their first movie-riffing experiment aboard the Satellite of Love.

Deep in the Mexican jungle, a legendary creature lurks in a radioactive swamp. Is it a man? Is it an octopus? No, it’s OCTAMAN! Okay, it’s a man in an octopus suit, but he’s really angry and decides to go on a light killing spree.

Joel and his faithful robot companions celebrate Thanksgiving by scarfing down a chopped up Captain Scarlet serial repackaged as a TV film.

Today's experiment features real humans from Japan and a budget that must've been tens of dollars.

The historic first meeting between Gamera and the crew of the Satellite of Love.

Crow is a frozen Christmas tree and Tom is busy, so Joel has to watch the original Gamera film all by himself.

For the Invention Exchange, Joel presents a safety device for motorcyclists. The Mads, anticipating the Mad Scientists' Convention, show off their device for getting rid of unwanted guests. For the day's experiment, Joel and the bots are forced to watch the first tedious chapter of "Radar Men from the Moon" (1952), with Commander Cody, as Joel explains to Tom Servo what a serial is. Their feature film is the cheesy Mexican horror flick, "The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy" (1958). Meanwhile, the threesome do their best to fend off an attack on the Satellite of Love by demon dogs, who are attracted to the spaceship's bone-like shape.

The Mads present the satellite people a film so bad that apologies are sent, and Tom Servo goes off his nut from it.

From the strange and ridiculously colorful world of K. Gordon Murray comes the 1959 Holiday classic Santa Claus. Made in Mexico and dubbed into glorious English, Santa Claus tells the story of, well, Santa Claus, who lives in a big white castle above us in Geosynchronous Orbit and watches over us all in a way that would make the NSA jealous. It’s Christmas Eve, and on Earth poor little Lupita wishes for a doll. Santa hears her wish and prepares for his yearly visit, helped by the heavily medicated Merlin the Wizard and Santa’s unintentionally creepy mechanical reindeer.

For the first time ever, we’ve assembled five shorts about death, loneliness, and dismemberment into one big, old-fashioned yukfest. On their own, they would have been too depressing to put out into the world. But together, they form into a Voltron of hilarity, if Voltron was eventually going to die facedown in the snow, sad and alone.

Kung Fu hits the streets! Young Larry Chin arrives from China looking for his long-lost brother and stumbles into some shady characters that'd just as soon see him go home - or get dead. He crosses paths with Stud Brown, and the two become an unlikely duo as they fight to clean up the 'hood, and make time for some lady loves they meet along the way. And hang on tight for the surprise twist ending. It's all living color kungsploitation glory, live with Cinematic Titanic.

Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.

An atomic bomb test in the South Pacific creates an isolated world of terror. Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how? With sarongs a-plenty, this film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.

The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!