Quiet, Please

Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.

Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...

Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.

Wrestling legend Bull Montana plays a murderous gorilla with a human brain transplant who is tracked by a feisty newspaper reporter.

Offbeat documentarian Chris Smith provides a behind-the-scenes look at how Jim Carrey adopted the persona of idiosyncratic comedian Andy Kaufman on the set of Man on the Moon.

Set in 1973 Spain, a struggling encyclopedia salesman and his wife take advantage of an offer to make adult films. The act turns him into an aspring legit filmmaker and her into an international sex symbol.

Gaby and Fred are preparing for the world swimming championships which will be held in Quebec City this year. Their love will be put to the test when a former love of Gaby's turns up at the championships. Gaby finds herself at a crucial point of her life where she has to choose whether to continue competing or follow another dream that she's cherished forever, but which seems impossible to everyone else—her dream to become an astronaut.

Five Green Berets stationed in Vietnam in 1968 grudgingly undertake the mission of a lifetime -- to secretly transport an 8,000-pound elephant through 200 miles of rough jungle terrain. High jinks prevail when Capt. Sam Cahill promises the Montagnard villagers of Dak Nhe that he'll replace their prized elephant in time for an important ritual. But for Capt. T.C. Doyle, the mission becomes a jumbo-sized headache!

A movie producer who made a huge flop tries to salvage his career by revamping his film as an erotic production, where its family-friendly star takes her top off.

A young director intent on making "the greatest color crime movie ever" can't seem to finish his script--he has a beginning and an end, but he can't quite figure out the middle. The daughter of his landlord, excited to have a real "movie person" living nearby, tries to help by putting him in touch with a man who wants to collaborate on a script--the strange "Dr. Jolly"

Unable to purchase a $50,000 digital projector, a group of film fanatics in rural Pennsylvania fight to keep a dying drive-in theater alive by screening only vintage 35mm film prints and working entirely for free.

Zé Rocha is a director trying to shoot his first film. He dreams of making a professional movie, and starts shooting in 35mm. But as his budget begins to fade, he changes to Black-and-White, then gradually down to 16mm, Super-8 and, in the end, to his despair, to the video format. With the help of Edna Marla, producer who is searching for the Holy Grail of a genuinely 100% Brazilian celluloid; Dona Martírio, his mother, former left-wing activist; Guará Rodrigues, an underground Brazilian movie star; and Lila Lessa, who stars in a 6 p.m. soap opera, they develop strategies and outlandish plans to win the insane battle of filmmaking in Brazil.

Seeking a divorce from her absentee husband, Mimi Glossop travels to an English seaside resort. There she falls in love with dancer Guy Holden, whom she later mistakes for the corespondent her lawyer hired.

A rich but racist man is dying and hatches an elaborate scheme for transplanting his head onto another man's body. His health deteriorates rapidly, and doctors are forced to transplant his head onto the only available candidate: a black man from death row.

A brash American movie producer arrives at an army base in England wanting to shoot a movie and use the soldiers as extras. The base commander doesn't want any part of it, but the producer and his secretary cook up a scheme to trick the officer into letting him use the base and its men. Their plan succeeds, but things don't turn out quite the way they were expecting.

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break is a 1941 film about a man who wants to sell a film story to Esoteric Studios. On the way he gets insulted by little boys, beaten up for ogling a woman, and abused by a waitress. W. C. Fields' last starring role in a feature-length film.

A woman enjoys swimming because she feels a lot lighter in the water.

London bookstore owner William Thacker's quiet life turns upside down when a chance encounter with famous actress Anna Scott sparks an unlikely romance challenged by their vastly different worlds.

Toon star Roger is worried that his wife Jessica is playing pattycake with someone else, so the studio hires detective Eddie Valiant to snoop on her. But the stakes are quickly raised when Marvin Acme is found dead and Roger is the prime suspect.

Led by Woody, Andy's toys live happily in his room until Andy's birthday brings Buzz Lightyear onto the scene. Afraid of losing his place in Andy's heart, Woody plots against Buzz. But when circumstances separate Buzz and Woody from their owner, the duo eventually learns to put aside their differences.