Cinematic Titanic: The Astral Factor

For our fifteenth year of RiffTrax Live, we've selected the 1990's cult classic about bank robbing, presidential masks, and surfing: Point Break! It was directed by Academy Award Winner Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty) and stars Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, John Wick, Keanu), Patrick Swayze (Road House), and one of our all-time favorite character actors, Gary Busey (A Star Is Born, Predator 2). Mike, Kevin, and Bill will riff Point Break LIVE at the State Theatre in Minneapolis on July 27th, and the resulting hilarity will be broadcast to over 700 movie theaters across America on Thursday, August 8th with an encore on Tuesday, August 13th thanks to our partners at Fathom Events.

Deep in the Mexican jungle, a legendary creature lurks in a radioactive swamp. Is it a man? Is it an octopus? No, it’s OCTAMAN! Okay, it’s a man in an octopus suit, but he’s really angry and decides to go on a light killing spree.

The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.

American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?

Blast off to the 80s with Rifftrax Live: Space Mutiny! Mike, Bill, and Kevin riffed this cult classic low-budget space opera live in Nashville. Now you can watch the show from the comfort of your own home, or space golf cart, if you have one of those. This is the Big McLargeHugest show you'll ever own. It's a brand new riff, completely different from the original MST3K episode. The show stars with a live riffing of The Magic Shop, a hilariously weird short that's somehow based on a story by H.G. Wells. Also included: pre-show slides and more bonus material! Also also included: Kevin wearing a shiny space muumuu you won't soon forget.

For the first time ever, we’ve assembled five shorts about death, loneliness, and dismemberment into one big, old-fashioned yukfest. On their own, they would have been too depressing to put out into the world. But together, they form into a Voltron of hilarity, if Voltron was eventually going to die facedown in the snow, sad and alone.

In the far-off land of Kalid, President Amir lies on his deathbed. If this revered head-of-state dies, the brutal dictatorship that he has so lovingly cultivated will fall into a dark age of uncertainty and chaos. And so, in this moment of crisis, his loyal staff are left with no alternative but to choose the only logical and sensible course of action—to transfer Amir's brain into a younger, healthier, and most importantly, living body. Enter Doctor Robert Trenton, a mad scientist of the traditional 'they all laughed at me and now I'll show them' school. He, along with his assistant, Dorro, a little man with a big appetite for evil, and Tracy, a conniving beauty with a heart that's harder than her leathery, over-tanned skin, concoct a deliriously diabolical plan involving murder, body-napping, skullduggery, and oozy, gooey brains.

Dr. Clayton Forrester figures he can rule the world if he deadens his subjects' brains by making them endure terrible movies. Exploiting his access to nearby satellite-dwellers Mike Nelson and his robot pals, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, Forrester makes them watch "This Island Earth", a cheesy 1950s spaceship film. But when Mike and friends make funny comments throughout the movie and others that follow, Forrester's plan looks increasingly flimsy.

Teens! Bikes! Feathered Hair! Love and revenge! Leotards and acid-washed denim! It’s all here in the legendary Eighties BMX-racing action-drama-romance RAD! Join Mike, Bill and Kevin as they spin, flip and slow-bike-dance their way into your hearts, LIVE in theaters nationwide on August 17th! Don’t miss it, if you want to be RAD!

It’s the year 2762. The galaxy is plagued with warring factions using hokey special effects to destroy each other. Out of this chaos a hero rises: the dashing, exquisitely bearded Captain Saber Raine (Casper Van Dien). Saber and his elite squad of commandos (other actors) embark on a dangerous quest to save the Prince and Princess of an unnamed planet from the clutches of the Evil Overlord Sinjin - an overlord so evil HIS VERY SKULL IS FILLED WITH CHERRY JELL-O. Can our heroes fend off Sinjin’s army of mutant androids and rescue the Prince and Princess? Probably! After all it’s Space Opera, but you never know! Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for an unforgettable Sword-And-Laser Swashbuckling-ly fun time, beamed to theaters nationwide!

From the strange and ridiculously colorful world of K. Gordon Murray comes the 1959 Holiday classic Santa Claus. Made in Mexico and dubbed into glorious English, Santa Claus tells the story of, well, Santa Claus, who lives in a big white castle above us in Geosynchronous Orbit and watches over us all in a way that would make the NSA jealous. It’s Christmas Eve, and on Earth poor little Lupita wishes for a doll. Santa hears her wish and prepares for his yearly visit, helped by the heavily medicated Merlin the Wizard and Santa’s unintentionally creepy mechanical reindeer.

Bill and Kevin are joined onstage by the great Paul F. Tompkins, and together they host and riff an amazing set of bizarre short films. The shorts cover every subject under the sun (y’know, because “Day”), from workplace safety to childhood safety to sentient talking pillow safety. And that’s not all - we’ve got more guests, riffing teams and legends galore! John Hodgman, Frank Conniff & Trace Beaulieu, Cole Stratton & Janet Varney, and Bridget Nelson with Sean Thomason, RiffTrax Senior Writer, making his live riffing debut.

The Dean family patriarch has died and left a fortune to his children and servants. The occasion soon turns grim when they discover they must all must spend an entire week at the family estate - together. It's all the same old family routine: backbiting, billiards, rumors and innuendo, canings, pantsuits and ham - until one by one, they start turning up dead.

Kung Fu hits the streets! Young Larry Chin arrives from China looking for his long-lost brother and stumbles into some shady characters that'd just as soon see him go home - or get dead. He crosses paths with Stud Brown, and the two become an unlikely duo as they fight to clean up the 'hood, and make time for some lady loves they meet along the way. And hang on tight for the surprise twist ending. It's all living color kungsploitation glory, live with Cinematic Titanic.

Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.

An atomic bomb test in the South Pacific creates an isolated world of terror. Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how? With sarongs a-plenty, this film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.

The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!

Yes, Thor, for all its critical acclaim, features Thor tazed, injected and hit by a van. The Extended Cut features a scene where he is trampled by a hungry hippo.) No doubt this cartoonish buffoonery is the touch of acclaimed director Kenneth Branagh, whose intention for Thor seems to have been “Let’s bring out the Shakespearean elements of the comic book, but instead of soliloquies, we’ll have grunting, and instead of intrigue, more grunting.” Sadly, Branagh fails to deliver on the demands made by the most hardcore Thor fans, that he bring to the silver screen the short lived 1985 plot line where Loki turns Thor into a frog and he helps other frogs defeat some rats. You get a thoroughly implausible love story and a performance by Sir Anthony Hopkins that were it any more phoned in, would be conducted through two tin cans and a piece of string. Mike, Kevin and Bill needed a nice long Odinsleep after this.

Things get a bit randy in this version of Mary Shelley's immortal classic about... immortality. Just as our resident mad scientist is about to bring his creature back to life, he is forced to use a sub-standard brain. The Cinematic Titanic crew offer more hilarious commentary as they set their sights on a Frankenstein's castle chock full of angry villagers, grave robbers, and skinny dippers.

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!